I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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