my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
