you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
pray to the hookup gods
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
