jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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