i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
