I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
