thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
