Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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