You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
