Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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