If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
