I wish my penis had an off switch
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
