I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
