i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
