I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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