It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My room smells like vodka and shame
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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