come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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