And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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