Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
50% drunk capacity currently
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
