haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
