I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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