pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
