I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
