i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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