This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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