Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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