So drunk its hurt
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
