they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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