You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
