someone get that fucking seahorse.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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