I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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