Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
