I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
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