a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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