She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
