saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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