forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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