I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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