I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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