Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize