Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize