there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
