and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
