why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
