I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's rum buckets o'clock
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
