so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
