he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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