Pants 0. Shit 1.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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