Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You did what with his pubic hair?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
