let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
