If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize