i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
