I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
His nipple licking is glorious
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