I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
