My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
