Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
