kristin has been a bad kristin
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize