Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Terrible idea I love it
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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