A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
