my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize