piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
