it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize