just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
