Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
