I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
