She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
